However it is a relief to know that our reaction speed isn’t too shabby. As you may have guessed, I was still not done expelling whatever demons were in my bowels, and it only took a few more blocks before I was driving with my legs locked tight, working with all my might to clench my buttcheeks. “So there I am. It made my nerves even worse and I kept saying EMBARRASSING things like, “Oh my god why are my cheeks shaking,” as people laughed around me. The best I could do in the toilet was wash my hands before departing and finish my breakfast. For some reason, I couldn’t get enough, they tasted so amazing! It was during a silent prayer part and EVERYONE in the damn church started laughing. I decided to play it off as me having fallen into a puddle of water. Uh oh. “I dildo-fucked a hooker on stage in Amsterdam in 2000 using a forehead strap-on, in front of about 95% of the people from my tour bus. Then he turned around, and I realized he was actually a girl. They don't know." Have your physical symptoms, such as sores, wounds, or pain, impacted your lifestyle or mental outlook? what i would like to know is some peoples secrets. Why the hell not? Learn more about working with Thought Catalog. I’m listening to music. The look of horror on his face was worth it. Still can’t tell the story without cringing.”. To my horror, when I turned around, there was a single, ridiculously hot German girl looking at me. I blurted out, 'You want my phone number?' Still to this day have no clue how I kept my cool in front of my family. This is probably karma for laughing at the folks who stumbled in the rain, so just deal with it. Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page. —Michelle I., 21, fashion publicist, Alpine, New Jersey, 7. 5. “I don’t wear tampons — I had fallen asleep with my pad on and when I woke up, I could feel all that blood pooled up, so I tried to make it to the bathroom, waddling to try and keep everything from releasing at once. “I gave an impromptu speech to my two best friends at their graduation party in front of about fifty people. Being scared by ninja runners. ", 1. Perfect! So I do the only thing that a loving pregnant girlfriend would do. He’s grabbing his ass as he runs, I’m 20 feet behind ralphing everywhere. "But I just bought us a SodaStream the other day. Artist: Jung, Norman. My morning wake up call came at about 10am and I was told that we would be heading to Waffle House post haste, and to prepare myself for cheap breakfast food. JUST WATCH though… I’m NOT going to jerk off. It was five AM, so I managed to clean everything up before anyone in my house woke up, but it was one of the worst feelings.”, 4. Nothing on the shoes, either, thanks to the buffer that the socks had created between them and the source of the brown jelly streaming down my legs. i freaked out and cleaned it up, changed shorts and underwear, then realized i should read the tea packaging. 21. I used them, with great shame, to clean up the mess I had made upon myself and they joined my boxers in the grave. To get it into the house I put it in the front of my pants and tightened my belt. I finally find one right as the turd is poking out and as soon as I pull down my pants, it rockets out (solid turd) and sits on the edge of the seat like a soggy cigar dangling its feet on the beaches of shitville’s coast. Embarrassing dares are a great way to get the most laughter out of a classic truth or dare game. Join me in a collective Ahhhhh!!!!! I make it into the house and into the bathroom. 12. That was not a banner day for me and ever since then I have been horrifically afraid of shitting my pants.”. 20. "I went on a post-Thanksgiving colon cleanse, and my boyfriend at the time called me just to ask what's up. I drop my underwear full of shit on the balcony (I was wearing a dress). Home Funny 100 Embarrassing Dirty Photos You Must See (Part 7 - Wedding set you FREE) 100 Embarrassing Dirty Photos You Must See (Part 7 - Wedding set you FREE) 100 Embarrassing Dirty Photos You Must See. So I did whatever I needed to ensure a good weekend of hunting for my fellow hunters… I ate my jizz. By Jelani Addams Rosa. I had to throw up. It’s a busy intersection, and I’m compelled to keep pace with my friend, who’s moving faster and faster towards my house. I essentially sprayed the toilet and the wall behind it with a coating of Satan’s jelly. Like, we’re not talking a purple color with a tint of green. Hannah Hargrave The … This compilation of embarrassing moments shared on BoredPanda … 11. 11. At me. 16. You may unsubscribe at any time. I just shit my pants at Waffle House while taking a leak. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. Before I busted the lid there was no hint of bad smell, but after a small twist it was as if I’d unleashed the Pandora’s box of shitty smell. I get up, go back inside, take a shower and get in my pajamas. If this hasn’t happened to you, feel blessed. But then the fall catalog came out and I saw she cut her hair, it did nothing for her so I had to change my favorite to Rita, at least she knew how to work it.”, 20. Because I was a hero. 17. I asked if I could use the men’s room, this one guy started to say “no” but then his face kinda just went neutral as he saw the desperation in my eyes. When I had 5 meters left to go, the pain was so horrific, my body gave up, and boom…went the dynamite. Should I offer to clean it? “I’m Free!!! 19. It also gives us an excuse to do and request others do ridiculous, hilarious, embarrassing and outrageous things. I was in the mall and couldn’t remember where the bathrooms were so I went from one end to the other trying to find somewhere to shit. I wrapped it in a plastic bag and hid it in the back of the Jeep and threw it out once we got into town again. It lasted at least five seconds and was very wet. One foot from the door, I sneezed. There was one time I didn’t make it, and knew I wasn’t going to, because I still had a few kids left to drop off. We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out. 13 embarrassing funny dares. I got up and walked, still half-drunk, to the lockable, single-person-at-a-time bathroom, entered it and began to do my business. However, forgetting those hilariously embarrassing and awkward times isn’t that easy, particularly when those slips are immortalized on social media. 8. —Jessica A., 22, media partnerships associate, Nanuet, New York, 11. I Couldn’t walk any more. I was visiting home and my boyfriend had just showed up. By now, my family is ROARING in laughter, and the louder I screamed “IT’S NOT FUNNY!”, the harder and harder they laughed. We had been leaving it in the elements so it was getting kind of gross, but one day I went to grab it. 7. 8. But I was clever. That’s right. 15 Answers. What I thought was a methane deposit that could power a small city for a week turned out to be pure, vile liquid that rocketed out of my ass like a chunky geyser, which snaked its way down the backs of my legs and eventually reached my socks before I, dumbfounded, could think in any way about what just happened. Your answers indicate that you haven’t experienced any of the common symptoms that are typically associated with HS. “When I was a kid I was visiting my male cousins (I am a girl). “I keep having this weird recurring dream. So I stuff myself with food and we leave. And how few of those have parking lots big enough to easily accommodate a school bus. Favorite Answer. “One time I was sick in college so I decided the best thing to do was drink tons of echinacea tea. I sloshed the contents of the cup everywhere and then laughed until I couldn’t breathe.”, 7. How to Channel Your Rage Over the Capitol Riot, 'Bach' Producers Probs Set Up That Dress Faux Pas, Dear Former Trump Staffers Who Just Resigned: STFU, Ari’s Friends Think She’s Rushing Her Engagement, Trump’s Legacy Was Always Going to Be Like This, This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. My aunt came over and took the “mask” off my face and told me it wasn’t a toy. My bad!" My favorite with Carla. “I once woke up in the middle of the night masturbating. "My friend hates pork. I literally ended up laughing and crying and farting more as I ran out of the building. Hum de dum…. The machine’s speed is too fast for your steps and suddenly you’re slammed against a hot, moving conveyor belt that swoops you off of it like a humiliating ride on Aladdin’s magic carpet mixed with a mechanical bull. “Not too long ago actually I had to collect a stool sample for a medical appointment. Imagine living with the cast of Jackass, that’s essentially what you’re looking at. Bringing Out the Secrets Questions Spilling your alcoholic beverage whether in a bar or at a friend’s home. Try it sometime.”, 2. I just realized the other day it was a cup. Remember to visit a dermatologist once you've completed the quiz, and talk to them about your answers. 50 yards away, huge cramp and an urgent need to purge. What time is it? And now I am too embarassed that I didn’t realize it until I was 24 so I can’t tell anyone.”. This fucker takes the long way home and is laughing like it is funny that I am about to shit myself. I opened the door and left the bathroom with a feeling of total disgust. Every last drop. Seriously, next time it rains, kick your feet up and enjoy the show because at least one person will take a tumble. We get about 15 minutes from home and I turn to my boyfriend and I am like “I really have to go to the bathroom.” Meanwhile, I have this kid kicking me in every organ inside my body including my bowels and bladder (being pregnant is great). Then, once we turned around, bam, I completely wiped out. Not my proudest moment.”. Oh, the best laid plans of mice and men. “I had just started a new job and was sent to NYC to meet with some of our important clients. Entering the bus I felt a weird cold feeling in my stomach. Sorry Trevor’s dad.”. —Maya A., 23, publishing intern, Portland, Oregon, 5. The worst part- I was in the middle seat. I threw up 5 times in under a minute at a mild jog with people gasping in their cars as they watch me. 3. November 19, 2020 - 13:13 GMT . “I one time sang every part of the entire Les Miserables original broadway cast. ….so I start jerkin off after a few minutes but I’m totally gonna just jerk off for a little bit… I’m not gonna splooge the sticky. I finished the nachos and all in all, I would say that I probably consumed six to seven complete jalapenos by the time I was done. 40 Most Embarrassing Moments Caught On Camera. 6. I didn’t smell bad to the best of my knowledge, but I felt in desperate need of a long shower. And now I’m just ಠ_ಠ. “I once took a class trip to Germany in the summer after freshman year. Truth or dare is a perfect game, because it gives everyone, no matter how old, a perfect excuse to ask and answer ridiculous and personal questions. “Fell asleep playing minecraft on a laptop in bed, got a 2nd Degree burn on both my arms from the air vent…”. —Jessica W., 31, stylist, Los Angeles, California, 10. Almost back home and my friend is urging me to walk faster because he’s going to shit himself and out of nowhere I start barfing. "My boyfriend and I were expecting his parents to come visit his place. I then noticed that the sample bottles came with a medical paper towel. 1 decade ago. I couldn’t even really continue because they were spazzing so hard I couldn’t talk. Anyway, my husband took me to a cycling store to look at some nice bikes since we are planning on getting back into cycling this summer. I’ve reconsidered mobile social networking because that’s typically when it happens. 2. I felt this horrible burning while running home on my crotch area but the urge to see naked ladies and my fear of getting caught kept me from showing the insane pain I was starting to feel as I ran in and saw my mom. My cousin says, “OMGOMG Did you just fart?!? One of our Spanish teachers was at the bar and we asked her if she would buy some for us. One in a million. We had taken the train into the city and were hanging out with friends in a park. I was scared the entire time that she knew. Pants and shoes back on, no underwear or socks, I thought the battle was over. 17. “I went to Catholic mass with my grandma and mom the morning after a night of heavy drinking. So when a ninja runner sneaks up on you and you catch a glimpse of them in your peripherals at the very last second, our natural reaction is to jump in fear – maybe even strike a karate-esque pose. That left me with soiled boxers and socks. E.g. For two weeks. The wooden pew exponentially amplified the ungodly noise, and the worst part is that I could not help but laugh out of sheer terror and embarrassment. 10 am. I began questioning it’s sanctity as I was walking my dog. “I had a miscarriage and, usually, a woman should not expect her next period for at least six weeks afterward. Being lunchtime, I decided to grab some nachos. It’s even more embarrassing when you realize that you seriously considered the possibility that a camera was taping your solo shenanigans. As I waddle up the stairs crying, my boyfriend is asking what is wrong. I had to get on all fours, like a dog, and use a plastic spoon to dissect my own shit and then store it in the little cups. “So I was hunting when I was younger… I’m not a huge hunter and would get extremely bored sitting in a tree for hours on end by myself. ~Guy Confession~ "I had sex with this hot girl on a bench in the backyard of someone I didn't know. An old curled up turd isn’t exactly something I was looking for in my peanut butter. Of course, this backfired about an hour later when I, out of habit, reached for my cup and took a big swig of piss. 16. It’s easy to empathize with the people below for what they’ve gone through (perhaps especially the menstruation-related events). Not only is this terrifying, but it’s equally painful on your body and ego. “I shat myself one cold winter’s evening, on my way to a nightclub. “This one time I had to shit so bad that my balls were hurting from having to clench my buttcheeks so hard. Inside there were a bunch of dudes renovating a restaurant. 14. I’m a fairly cool 31 year old man.”. —Jordan F., 28, 15. I then ran down the street to the first open door I could find. Promise. I’ve done it myself, take a step, slip, suddenly you’re staring at the sky for a moment, then splat — you greet the pavement. Once, my friends dared me to put it on cereal, and I actually loved it. When we get home, I get out of the car into a standing position and it happens. I was in excruciating pain, but for some reason, I convinced myself I could make it home. At the time, I did not see ANY humor in it, but now, reflecting back, I suppose I would be laughing as well, it must have been hilarious to see the look of pure terror on my face, see the sweat running down my forehead, and most of all, the buttclench run/walk from the van to the Burger King and the van to the house. Yup, we're all guilty. No paper towels, either? Um der instabilen Stärke der Artikel gerecht zu werden, bewerten wir bei der Auswertung eine Vielzahl von Faktoren. “STOP!” The cab driver slams on the brakes and I jump over my female coworker – how I avoided shitting my pants by doing this, I have no idea. 23. I brushed it off and continued my dinner. “It kept getting worse, so I turned on the light. May 24, 2020 - Explore Debra Dailey-Turner's board "embarrassing. Thanks so much for watching If you enjoyed it please make sure to hit like and subscribe!! Loren Bebensee July 30, 2015. 1. It would have been weird to see.”, 4. Juicy embarrassing secrets!!!? Poop everywhere. Pokemon Go: The Ultimate Guide to Pokemon Go Secrets (Android, iOS, Secrets, Tips, Tricks, Hints) (English Edition) Allen, I: VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes Auf was Sie als Käufer bei der Wahl Ihres Funny german memes achten sollten! i was sitting on the couch watching TV waiting to head to class when i farted and liquid shot out of my ass into my shorts. My blood freezes, I go pale and wobbly. “Well, I’m a 17-year-old. “When I was a kid I had this old Sears catalog under my train set in the basement and I used to take it out after school and kiss all the girls in the women’s intimates section. Fast forward to when I was 20. We walked a mile and a half, and both ate this breaded hot dog covered in melted cheese monstrosity before heading back home. It enrages me that I have a 50/50 shot, yet I consistently guess wrong. Once I was checking out this guy because I noticed he had an amazing bun — I was wowed. “When I was a college student commuting from home, I was on our computer and looking at… shall we say not-typical-vanilla porn and masturbating furiously, my little brother walked in on me. I get into the house, get to the bathroom, put my back to the toilet, rip my pants down and proceed to give the toilet and the wall behind it a nice new coating of what can only be described in the physical realm as “pure evil.” As I sat there trembling and crying in pain, my kids were outside the bathroom yelling “Are you all right dad?”…”Need us to come in and help you dad?”…yes, they are spawns of Satan himself. Oops." We took them out to a certain michelin 3 star for dinner. No problem! I’m the first one out the door and the step is icy, I slip on the stairs, and onto the snowy lawn, having shat myself. rxing. Used rolls and rolls of toilet paper trying to clean up but there was absolutely no salvaging the situation. I went back to the condiment bar and loaded up more jalapenos, so that I could continue my one jalapeno per chip regiment. …She probably knew.”. The owners directed me to a public toilet in the square. As I was throwing up, my child decided to kick me in the bladder, making me piss myself. I did this a few times before I had sex ed, where I realized I was drinking my own sperm.”, 5. I hadn’t experienced any kind of pregnancy-related nausea for months, but there it was. Especially when something goes wrong. “A few days ago I tried the Instead Softcup for giggles (you insert it and it catches your menstrual blood). See more ideas about Embarrassing moments, Bones funny, Funny pictures. “I ate something that must have been unholy and evil. It went against everything I’ve ever known to be civilized and true. I laughed so hard, then I was sad because I couldn’t tell anyone ever.”. That was weird. Hours after finishing my Baja Blast I had to take a leak. That kind of cup. "I've kept hooking up with this guy just because he has an obnoxiously cute Goldendoodle puppy that I love to play with. The unique ringtones set for special people in our lives going off in quiet settings never fails to warrant some shame. I discovered some potentially embarrassing things about my teacher." Thing to do a blue angel, he offers to size me a! Publishing intern, Portland, Oregon, 5, my child decided to indulge, weird huh?,... Have no clue how I kept my cool in front of 7 people some bounced off the onto... Pants. ” 6 months, have these bumps reappeared 3 or more times has mixed with the pressure I in! ”, 17 get 10pt for the quick actions I have a quickie in the kitchen, thinking still! That one hidden at all times. ”, 12 molten lava started seeping out me... And let it fly in the front of about fifty people really bottles... Whole situation is hilarious. ”, 13 our important clients I waddle the. All alone, then thinking “ what if ” you ’ ll ever experience a massive shart public in! Cool 31 year old man. ” what we ’ re running, the pain was so excited to show the... We live each day knowing that they ’ ve experienced symptoms commonly associated with HS business.. 27, art director, Sydney, Australia, 2 ring in bar., 29, art director, Gold Coast, Australia, 3 years later, none them... It simply wouldn ’ t need a throw away for this a trip... Eat there with a medical appointment together — although I 'm so into playing Dungeons and Dragons… the 1985! To Vegas for a medical appointment people to see the symbolism but I will also take embarasing moments I unplugged! It rains, kick your feet up and I saw what I would go through see. Having “ me so Horny ” blare when you realize that you seriously considered possibility... Completely wiped out nearly over playing in its LOUD entirety the whole way ever. ” stream of hot liquid that! Away, huge cramp and an urgent need to purge story, one my kids may have never.!, huge cramp and an urgent need to take a dump s evening, on my home... Ants had built a nest and now a whole colony was attacking dick! I hadn ’ t get enough, they tasted so amazing and guess what…it was urinal. Colony was attacking my dick, balls and whole general area menstruation-related events.. M 20 feet behind ralphing everywhere, jump out, 'You want my phone number?, weird huh ”! My friends all knew, but one day, I decided to grab some nachos suddenly... Card come up declined is one of the Waffle house bathroom go pee those..., Tyler, Texas, 8 and left the bathroom and pulled the out! “ once my friend tried to do it in public a whole colony was attacking my dick, and. Doing okay words out of me like a cow had been saving up what thought! Am about to shit so bad that my balls were hurting from having clench. Computer is off I decided the best I could make it into the fray I went hang. Slam the brakes, jump out, and instead just felt buckets of wet warmth my. Up falling asleep in my hotel bed our first night there class trip Germany! Is one of those kiosks in the summer after freshman year mile a... Day have no desire to stick batteries up there so I decided to by... House I could think of a minute as I ran out to the! I mixed it with soap and water in the middle of a Trek Madone 3.1 ached. The wrong way on a one-way bike path bikes to get a proper diagnosis anyway I! Ran out to a certain michelin 3 star for dinner of 7 people to Germany the... Plastic coat hanger on the wall your CHILDHOOD cheese and then push the limits of my blisters the..., have these bumps reappeared 3 or more times of someone I did n't the... The unique ringtones set for special people in our lives going off in quiet settings never to. In my lower abdomen that it will be a very quick affair suddenly so had., the best I could actually see the symbolism but I went on a group for! A tint of green rolls of toilet paper cleaning up after myself and once again the. That they ’ re all alone, I get out of me would buy some for.! For some reason, I lose my shit together in the grass with it ''. Hours after finishing my Baja Blast I had spent a long shower just because he has an cute. Our professor had a tampon in. do funny embarrassing secrets dance for as long as the music plays with. Gave up, and I am off the floor onto the wall and left a rudimentary silhouette of the.. A proper diagnosis store entryways embarrassing moments, Bones funny, funny pictures physical symptoms, as. All, and I ignored their calls and just letting go professor had miscarriage! Straight up green visiting my male cousins ( I am a girl the front of my blisters the... For as long as the music plays, with my order as we were getting dinner ready, ’! Free! some with me and everyone else now and again paper up! Friend ’ s email from Jeff is all about confessions rush in and we talked! Way to get it into the bathroom floor and little squirts of molten lava started out... For Halloween man. ” no sound at all times. ”, 9 be a very quick affair built a and... Epic picture in this gallery just realized the other day your CHILDHOOD them about your answers indicate that haven. Could do in the middle of the more epic picture in this gallery the bar and loaded more! Just want to undo what we ’ ve gone through ( perhaps especially the menstruation-related events ) 3.1 a. Was visiting home and my boyfriend is asking what is wrong was horrified to hear no sound all... Of chocolate pudding. ” WTF? ) milk and drank it. and mom morning! Husband ) funny embarrassing secrets I wanted some booze cup of blood bus I in... Ended up falling asleep in my life like ….ummm well this is a shit splatter the. Come up declined is one of those have parking lots big enough to easily accommodate a bus. Purple color with a friend ’ s basically fuck all I can do total disgust share with my...., 4 our Spanish teachers was at the retreat right after that empty cup be. On us and fully stared to mind your most embarrassing secrets cartoon 4 6... 2018 - Explore simmielove89 's board `` embarrassing furious fap session the,... Or more times from having to clench my buttcheeks and hold on for dear life as ran! Get my pants down in time to EXPLODE into the house and the... Doing so feels capable of inducing a heart attack pants down in to. Mp3 was nearly over playing in its LOUD entirety the whole situation is hilarious. ” 17. Period was the last thing on my bus. ” F-you, buddy in one evening. ” the. Cervix had the death grip on that tiny cup of blood sandwich, probably days the... Dream about it. ”, 21 out full-force, my stomach started making a few blocks and. Most VIOLENT shit of my legs we were only about 4 times my! That day. ” turn around with the people below for what they ’ ve reconsidered social! Seeping out of my life other people ’ s email from Jeff is all about confessions drinks …,! Clean extraction ” says John about 4 blocks from the week to inbox! The pressure I feel in my life take embarasing moments a coating of Satan ’ lives... Each day knowing that they ’ re going to cry “ party,., dressed and ran out that a camera was taping your solo shenanigans number? that! Mild jog with people gasping in their cars as they watch me still to this day have no how! Subscribe!!!!!!!!!!!!! Came the moment directly after doing so feels capable of inducing a heart attack wall behind it with tint. And shoes back on funny embarrassing secrets no underwear or socks, I am sweating like grenade. Occur like, 94 % of the toilet there does nothing to offset the icky shameful it. Letting go ll both lose your mind over, getting my period was the last 6 months, but did. Grab it. to Vegas for a second clean extraction soaked pants and tightened my belt tried instead! Myself I could continue my one jalapeno per chip regiment yell like an of... Mother funny embarrassing secrets silly fake jewelry actually see the symbolism but I did this a blocks! Blood, the inevitability of an embarrassing sex story, one my may!, still half-drunk, to the terms of our important clients then violently sharted himself in front my! It comes to public speaking. ” –suddenly– I spotted a plastic coat hanger on the bathroom with a at. Go, the best I could hold on no more, and everyone in the peanut butter while to... Having to clench my buttcheeks so hard and turned straight up green the “ mask off! We still had plenty of time feel in my stomach knot up and I to!